Connection: The Missing Piece in Mind–Body Healing

This weekend I had the privilege of attending the SIRPA learning weekend—an inspiring gathering of people who share a passion for mind–body medicine and compassionate, evidence-based healing. What struck me more than anything wasn’t just the teaching (which was great), or the insights about resistance, anxiety, and recovery. It was connection.

Connection with people who welcome you without judgement.
Connection with people who “get it.”
Connection with people who are warm, curious, supportive—and also funny, human, and great fun to be around.

The mind–body journey can often feel lonely. Many people living with chronic pain or medically unexplained symptoms feel misunderstood or dismissed. But being part of a community like SIRPA reminds us that connection isn’t just useful —it is foundational to healing.

Why Connection Matters for the Mind–Body System

As a mind–body practitioner, one of the things I teach is that the nervous system is relational. We do not regulate our stress responses in isolation. We regulate with other people and with the outside world.

When we connect with someone who feels safe, present, and non-judgmental, our nervous system receives a powerful signal:

“You are not alone. You are safe.”

This signal allows the system to shift out of threat (fight, flight or freeze) mode. Muscles soften. Breathing deepens. The mind becomes more open, curious, and flexible. From here, healing becomes possible.

One of the themes from the SIRPA weekend was the role of resistance in mind–body work—how parts of us understandably hold back from change, especially if anxiety has been a longstanding companion. When someone is anxious or stuck in a stress response, connection is often the first step toward safety. It reassures the protective parts of us that change is safe, that we don’t have to figure everything out alone.

Co-Regulation: Our Nervous Systems Are Designed to Sync

Neuroscience calls this co-regulation: the way our nervous systems influence one another.
This is why a soothing voice, a calm presence, or a compassionate smile or a pet can have such a profound effect on the body. It’s also why healing communities—like the one SIRPA offers—have such impact. When we spend time with people who are grounded, supportive, and compassionate, our own nervous system begins to mirror those states.

We want our nervous system to move freely between states, activation, focus, rest, safety, and to return to a sense of groundedness. Connection helps us come back to that safe baseline. It is the  flow between nervous system states that is vital, not to get stuck in one state.

And connection doesn’t only happen with people. Many of us regulate with:

• A favourite place
• time in nature
• the presence of a pet
• a partner or close friend
• Tuning into our breath

Anything that helps the system feel held, seen, or soothed can support recovery.

The Healing Power of Community

Throughout the weekend, the conversations between sessions were just as powerful as the teaching itself. People shared their challenges, their breakthroughs, their fears, their humour. There was something deeply healing about a group of individuals with similar values—curious, compassionate, open-minded—coming together with a shared intention to learn and grow.

Connection is not a luxury. It is a basic human need.
And for anyone on a mind–body recovery journey, it is often the missing ingredient.

Whether it’s through a supportive community like SIRPA, a trusted practitioner, a loved one, or the natural world, finding connection that feels safe can help your nervous system settle, soften, and heal.